And Her Name Shall be Called...

We couldn't help ourselves!  (We did make it to Christmas!) But we were very thrilled to unveil to our families today that our sweet Lil' Miss 2.0 shall be named:

I don't even know exactly where to begin in terms of where this name came from for us...except that I have always loved the name Lily.  In fact years ago, when Kristina, Kristi, and I were sitting around in our home in Rockledge, FL chatting about when we wanted to have kids/favorite names/basically the most stereotypically girly conversation we have ever had...Lily was the name I identified as one of my all time top favorite girl names.  When we were expecting Hannah it had made the list, but not even the short list...I guess it just didn't feel right at the time.

This time, while pregnant with 2.0, before we knew gender, the few times I managed to try to get Daniel to indulge me and chat about names, we once again couldn't even come close to finding an agreeable boys name.  But the one name he mentioned to me, weeks before we knew 2.0 was a girl, was the name Lily.  He said something along the lines of "we could always use the name Lily this time"...which immediately struck me...and he promptly forgot.  Classic Daniel.  From that point on I couldn't consider any name other than Lily if she was a girl... (and he didn't even remember mentioning it!)

When we found out 2.0 was in fact Miss 2.0, Daniel again had to rush off to work and I had the day to play with names in my head, but continually circled back to Lily!  Later on that evening we chatted about it and I said that I really loved the name he had suggested and he just looked at me absolutely dumbfounded.  Sigh.  But luckily, he did still really like the name Lily!

Hannah and Lily are the only two girls names Daniel has ever identified that he likes.

We have since tossed around many different middle names, but have ultimately chosen (and LOVE):

Daniel's favorite variation of this is Lily Kate!  We went with the traditional spelling of both Lily and Katherine, I have always preferred Katherine be spelled with a K, and while we think Lily Kate is adorable, having a full traditional name gives her plenty of long term dignified/formal/not-too-cutesy options.

We had a lot of fun sharing the name with our families and friends through phone calls, FaceTime, and texts today.  Excited to share and even more excited to eventually meet our sweet Lily!  :)

19 Weeks! Is Lil' Hals 2.0 a Miss or Mister? One of each or is Daniel outnumbered?!?

I have been counting down the days until our anatomy scan for weeks!  To sweeten the deal, we told all of our parents (the grands) that we didn't have the appointment until after Thanksgiving, when we technically knew we were going to find out the day before Thanksgiving!  It was also fun to keep it as our own sweet surprise for a day before sharing it with everyone!

We had a particularly crazy and stressful Monday and Tuesday - which majorly eclipsed my excitement or having any time to really even think about the anatomy scan before the big day!  But it had been weighing on my mind for weeks - I was so anxious to just know!  Would we have one of each or would we have two sweet girls?  Would we have an evenly divided household or would Daniel be forever outnumbered?  

While I had my hunches based on food aversions and cravings and how they compared/contrasted to my pregnancy with Hannah, I genuinely did not know what to expect!  Everyone says that every pregnancy is different.  I saw so many positives and opportunities within each option.  I think the uniqueness that comes with having one of each is pretty obvious - I have always envied the dynamics between brothers and sisters on some level and thought it could be so neat for Hannah to have that.  But then, if we had two girls!  Hannah would have a sister to not just be her sibling but to share all the challenges of being a female with as well - and we wouldn't be done with the beautiful, adorable clothes and bows!  Some days I really really wanted one of each and some days all I could imagine was two sweet little girls.  

And so we headed to our 9 am appointment on Wednesday morning!  We brought Hannah with us, because there wasn't enough time to bring her to daycare and make it back (not that I didn't want to include her, but I knew she wasn't quite ready to really understand and enjoy the appointment yet).  Daniel patiently sat off to the side and was amazing with Hannah and she was doing great and sitting quietly on his lap in the little room.   He made it about 15-20 minutes before resorting to the iPad...and that's where we went wrong.  When her attempts to watch Daniel Tiger on Netflix failed it was mayday!  We asked the technician if she could skip ahead to the gender part so they could leave.  

Throughout the appointment my focus continually flipped from hoping Daniel could keep Hannah happy and stay for the visit and being transfixed by the opportunity to see our little 2.0!  I continually breathed a sigh of relief and thankfulness as the technician said the brain looked great, the four chambers of the heart looked great, stomach, bladder, major vessels, kidneys, etc, all looked normal (aka perfectly formed!)  So so amazing!  The only disappointment was that while the technician was kind enough, she was rather void of personality and seemed very focused on checking off her list, not necessarily trying to get a good picture of the baby's face or pausing for a moment to let me enjoy the profile or face pictures.  With Hannah we were spoiled by an amazingly charismatic technician who challenged herself to get "the best" picture possible.  

But back to our story - Hannah was starting to lose it (she had had an especially clingy/whiny morning and had done really well in the waiting room already).  So the technician thankfully obliged and went ahead to check for gender and.......  

We are the proud parents of a beautifully growing Lil' MISS 2.0 and are absolutely thrilled! 

We're having a girl!

Both ultrasounds were at exactly 19 weeks to the day!

Lil' Miss 2.0 is the top photo, Hannah is the bottom photo - both girls are 19 weeks to the day!

Hannah is on the left side, Lil' Miss 2.0 is on the right side

Our collection of bows and ribbons and dresses will only continue to expand and we can go ahead and give up on gender neutral baby gear!  :)  

And if Daniel's family's superstition on names is any indicator - Daniel once again had hated every single boy's name I proposed and yet, he was able to recall one of my all time favorite girl's names long before we found out the gender.  We're still trying it out, but we may have already picked out her first name!  

I honestly cannot believe how much more real knowing the gender has made everything!  Daniel and I were talking last night and I said something about "someday when we take the girls across the world..." and he looked at me and was like "the girls..." as he processed hearing me say that for the first time. Yep!  Our sweet little girls!!!  :)  

Growing our Lil' Hals 2.0 - adventures in juggling it all!

16 weeks! Lil' 2.0 and I are at 16 and a half weeks and more or less enjoying sweet sixteen! I've been taking notes periodically since six weeks, but just like everything else, I am really really terrible about allowing the things I jot down to not actually turn into a blog post. I mentally draft notes all the time...and have things in drips and drabs but am really bad about pulling it all together. The other nail in my blog post coffin was when I typed up two or three weeks worth of things only for the draft not to save. *sigh* but - plenty rough around the edges, this is what has been going on for 2.0 and this momma.

We found out we were expecting August 8th while Daniel's parents were in town, attended my family's reunion in NJ the following weekend, and then I dove into the "beginning of the school year" craziness at my school. While being due in mid April is gold for someone in education, it means the start of the school year is super rough!!! For me this month was very critical - I was helping with new teacher orientation and was also launching the learning management system for my school. We were piloting the platform this year, but all faculty and students needed accounts, parents needed to be able to create observer accounts, teachers needed training, etc and the whole project was by baby! (Oh yeah, and I was growing a baby too and already had one at home!) It was go time!

 

Week 6 -

This week was THE WEEK. Holy cow. First of all this week was the most important week at work that I have had since I started my job. It wasn't just a big one, it was HUGELY important to me and I have been working towards prepping for this week for months and months.

So...how did we start the week? Sunday Hannah came down with hand, foot, and mouth disease and had fevers all day, was sobbing uncontrollably, drooling and clawing at her mouth. Considering she had been teething all week (she had woken up in the middle of the night every night the previous week)...increased teething irritation was totally plausible but it really seemed like more. Pain meds were the only thing that helped at all, but she was utterly miserable. Monday night the rash started setting in and then we knew for sure - HFMdisease. Monday my presentations with faculty started, Tuesday was the first full faculty meeting, I hit six weeks, and did my first big training session with faculty who had never seen our LMS before. That afternoon I felt awful and then increasingly awful. Body aches, chills, fever uggggh. I slept terribly, limped through the faculty retreat, went to my first doc appointment (which was basically an annual exam and lab work), and then got to start enjoying terrible feverish sweats through the night and an incredibly itchy but painful rash all over my hands. What was crazy was that all of the bumps on my hands seemed to appear on any point that was frequently used, where the cells in my skin would tend to replenish more frequently - like my finger tips and the area around my rings. The same happened on my feet, but not quite as terribly. By Thursday, I was a miserable, blistering, itchy mess and by Friday I was still all of the above, plus utterly exhausted because I had barely slept in days because of my fevers and itchy hands.

Hand foot and mouth disease is the worst! And it just kept giving its gifts! Scabby skin showed up a few weeks later. The weirdest thing! Our feet didn't peel until at least a month after - and three months later mine are almost done. So so bizarre,

Daniel was sick too - about a day and a half behind me and for him, the disease seemed to really attack his poor feet (perfect for my runner, right?)

Overall it was just a crazy week. But I felt like quite the conqueror who has earned quite a few battle stars and should be crazy proud.

At the end of the week I also took a gamble and told my main boss. I really wanted to wait until after I had conquered this week to say anything - kind of as a way of proving, hey I may be pregnant, but I still am conquering my job. But, I was SO nervous! SO SO nervous! But it went really well, and I think in the end, it was a good decision, or at least it feels right for now. He was really positive and supportive - His wife is also expecting and had just hit 20 weeks, so he was confused when I said I was due in April, because I could tell he was doing the math. I finally explained that yes, it was early, but with Hannah I felt the worst between 7 and 10 weeks and that I would be hitting 7 weeks just as we kicked off the first day of school with students. I think once I mentioned that he understood. I further explained that the idea of having to take a day emergently at the beginning of the school year (which educators just don't) because something sad happened or I was really ill and to have to lie about it and be perceived as being irresponsible, was stressful and I would rather be transparent. And once I explained that, I think he really understood.

Translation or addendums to FB posts...

(6 weeks 3 days...)

Whew! HUGE week! Faculty reported back this week and we launched the new learning management system my school is adopting and I ran extensive training sessions all through the week...all while Hannah and I (and Daniel...but he got off easy) enjoyed the delights of hand, foot, and mouth disease (omg it's just the absolute worst!!!!) I think the blisters on my hands are going to all conjoin and my hands might just fall off. Overall, everything went incredibly well! Relieved, exhausted, and hoping next week (first week of school, starting Wed) is more reasonable!

(Addendum: I pulled all of this off AND am six weeks pregnant and feeling worse by the day! I feel like a (n exhausted) rockstar!)

(6 weeks 5 days...)

Daniel Hals did the grocery shopping, then took Hannah to the park and got her napping while I finally ran a few errands, then he walked the dogs and cooked dinner while I lined up and ironed clothes for the first week of school! Today I am a kept woman!

(Translation: I feel pretty crappy and Daniel is doing an amazing job picking up the slack and helping out)

7 weeks -

Fatigue and nausea definitely kicking in just in time for the first week of school! I've been incredibly hungry - but my hunger turns to nausea in seconds, so keeping up has been a major challenge.

I've been semi-nauseous in the morning - especially mid morning, it always seemed to peak right in the middle of the class I teach and I have had several days when I have mapped out my grab-the-trash-can-as-I-flee escape route. But I always feel so much better after I get lunch. By late afternoon I start feeling a lot worse and all I've been able to tolerate for dinner is cereal/oatmeal. One incredibly big highlight? The cafeteria is open again at work now that school started, so I have a perpetual backup plan!

Translation or addendums to FB posts...

(7 weeks...)

And the first day of school (number nine!) is done! Excited to be teaching again on a daily basis, but loving that my main job is still instructional technology! But this has been an epically long week! Sorry #hannahhals #momistired #isitfridayyet?

(Translation: #mom is really freaking tired!)

(7 weeks 2 days...)

So much more relaxing to look back on the three incredibly hectic and critical weeks that jump start the school year than to have them looming in front of me! Relieved, exhausted, thrilled with how well things have gone, and excited for this school year! I really love my job!

(Side story: I had my sonogram today and finally got to see our little baby...AND...everything was perfect! Perfectly strong heartbeat, exactly as far along as I thought I was, perfect! So not only do I feel incredibly triumphant for conquering these three weeks at work, but we have a beautifully forming baby!)

8 weeks

As dinner tonight was a bowl of cereal and a plate of caprese and my evening snack is oatmeal and hot chocolate because those are the only things that sound tolerable...I can say that my food aversions and all the weird nausea has fully kicked in. In many ways it's not as bad as I remembered, but that doesn't mean I haven't had my moments.

At 8 weeks the hard core fatigue and rounds of all day sickness in the forms of feeling nauseous or gaggy, unable to eat certain (most) things, etc. Lunch is the easiest and I feel the best afterwards. But even for lunch there's a very limited range of what I can "handle" eating. Dinner. Blah. Cereal is quite yummy. Chicken and vegetables are just absolute no's. I pretty much want processed shit that I really don't eat normally or gross greasy things that I would usually only let myself "splurge" and have on occasion.

This week was the second week of school - and included Back to School Night. I've definitely stayed busy!

We've had fun telling our friends that are near and far away!

 

Last night was the most excited I have been for our little 2.0 and the whole idea that we are going to be a sweet little family of four! We were at the Kunkles and as I watched Daniel play with both Lillian and Hannah as they roared with laughter, I was so excited about the next few years we have ahead! And really all the precious years we have as a family.

9 Weeks

Daniel went to FL for a work trip, second back to school night, aversions less severe but still there and are very much still ruling the show - the fb post below explains how insane of a week this was!

9 weeks 1 day - pregnant with Hannah on the left, with 2.0 on the right!

 

Translation or addendums to FB posts...

9 weeks 2 days

After three days of Daniel being away, which involved super early morning dog walks for me, 3.5-4 hours in the car each day as I drove the triangle between Silver Spring (home), North Laurel (daycare beside Daniel's work), and DC (my work) in rush hour traffic, and Hannah even got to hangout behind the scenes at Back to School Night (take 2) last night; Daniel Hals is now home and I got to spend my evening watching #hannahhals roar with laughter. All is right again in our little world! ❤️ Content, thankful, and exhausted!!! :)

(Translation: none needed. Brutal week, exhausted mom who is proud of juggling it all while growing 2.0)

This week I also had an appointment with an endocrinologist. At my last checkup the big beginning of the pregnancy blood work up and had discovered the my TSH was low (which actually indicates hyperthyroidism) and my free T4 was really high (also consistent with hyperthyroidism). So off to the endocrinologist I went. I had had two weeks to be worried and dismiss worry. My mom had thyroid cancer in her late thirties (free and clear now!), and pretty much every woman in my family has hypothyroidism on some level. I wasn't shocked to have off thyroid levels, just bummed. I also have been having my levels checked since I was in my early 20s and knew they had always been normal until now, so if it was an issue it wasn't something that "should have been caught" before. In fact, I arrived at the docs office with my levels from December. They were on the low side, but still in the normal range.

The doctor did an ultrasound of my thyroid and very quickly determined there were no lumps or toxic nodules or anything else alarming, which ruled out all kinds of things. However, it made it more likely that the hyperthyroidism was being caused by an autoimmune disorder called Graves' disease. Crap. Not definitely, but there was a real chance this was the culprit. I left with lab orders and enjoyed a lovely scavenger hunt to find the right lab and then finally make it back to work.

10 weeks

Still fighting with food - on a particularly epically bad food day my lunch at work was grapes and sweet potato fries. Then the person beside me was eating something that resembled and smelled like cat food lasagna and the next person sat down with crab cakes. Game over! I ended up eating cereal by myself in my office. Uggggh.

Meat, especially grilled meat has just been a big fat no and this week especially food has been a struggle. Most veggies are also. My moment of caving involved ruffles cheddar sour cream chips (I don't eat potato chips ever - they are greasy and disgusting) but at this moment they were the best.thing.ever! I would be ashamed, but I ate half of a small bag (the kind that would come with lunch) for afternoon snack and half the next day for mid morning snack and both times it made me feel so much better even though the Beth floating above me was just disgusted... It's been a very weird month of eating.

The final day of week 10, I headed to the endocrinologist, a mix of calm and basket-case kinda nervous, anxious to learn whether I had an autoimmune disorder that could endanger my baby and be a pain in the ass the rest of my life. I didn't have to wait long...and it was great news! My TSH level was normal, my free T4 and free T3 were still high, BUT there were no antibodies that indicated Graves Disease! WOOHOO! The doctor was "perplexed." She then asked me how I was feeling overall. Nope, I didn't have heart palpitations. Meh, I was sleeping alright - but the past night or two I was worried about whether I had Graves or not, and I haven't slept through the night since before the test was even positive because I have to pee... but it felt like not sleeping well from the pregnancy, not weird overstimulated thyroid things. And so, I was told we could wait and see. No dangerous-for-the-baby anti-thyroid medications for us! (which would have made me feel like crap too). I would do more labs in a month and see how I was doing and at my ultrasound in five days we would make sure the baby was growing to size (too small could be hyperthyroid) and that the heartbeat was normal (too high heartbeat for the baby could be hyperthyroid as well). I left elated, relieved, grateful, and thrilled!!!

Translation or addendums to FB posts...

Sept 28, 2013 I woke up and spent my first morning in Maryland, as we lived in a hotel with my husband and Chance while I found a place for us to rent; Sept 28, 2014 I woke up and spent my first morning in our home in Silver Spring with my husband, Hannah, Chance, and Holly. Sept 28, 2015 I woke up and was thrilled to not be surrounded by suitcases or boxes! Here's to staying put for another year!

Addendum: (I woke up with Daniel, Hannah, Chance, Holly, AND 2.0 growing away! Staying put for another year, but life is still a'changing!)

11 weeks

This was the first full day I could cherish the idea that I didn't have Graves' disease and actually let myself be excited about the fact that "oh yeah, I'm pregnant!!" And, I'm already past the most dangerous part and the baby seems to be okay! And it was finally fall! I was all grins at work and really looking forward to my Friday OB checkup, anxious to have that extra confirmation that they baby was doing well!

Friday was frustrating - the doctor said it was too early to bother using the doppler, and I wasn't quick enough to beg. She said that since I had an ultrasound the following Monday, I would get to see the baby then and check on everything else then. It was logical, but I was bummed and I guess after all the ups and downs from the past few weeks, I was really looking forward to having that reassurance.

During the weekend we met up with Bonnie, Tommy, and Savannah, and went apple picking and to the pumpkin patch - we gathered a family of four pumpkins together and had fun sharing our big news with them.

Sunday I also felt distinctive movements and was pretty sure it was our sweet little 2.0! It happened several different times - and again the following day, but I wasn't confident enough to say anything until I went to the doctor for the ultrasound and they place the wand pretty much exactly where I had been feeling movements and the sonogram revealed a baby who was definitely waving and kicking up a storm! And, from that point on I have felt the baby almost daily! These are my favorite kind of little movements - they almost tickle, they are so delicate and sweet, and they most certainly don't hurt or bruise my ribs!

The sonogram confirmed many things - that we had a totally healthy baby who was waving and kicking up and rolling and adorable! The heartbeat was perfectly normal, the baby was beautifully and perfectly formed, and measuring several days ahead already! We might have a tall one! (And certainly not one that is stunted by hyperthyroidism).

And so, after the appointment...we posted this!

 

12 weeks - 14 weeks

Food and I are finally on better terms! It's still hit or miss at times, but 12 weeks seemed to be my turning point this time. Not excited about food yet, but able and willing to eat a broader range of it!

Our beloved FL family visited this week and we had a great time catching up with them!

14 weeks - 16 weeks

So I officially cleared the first trimester and can finally eat again! My greatest struggle the past several weeks is fatigue. I'm horrendously tired and I just can't ever seem to get ahead. We had 4-5 weekends in a row that were almost all napless weekends, so one of my only only chances to lay down and snooze (or catch up with Daniel!) has been repeatedly thwarted AND I have a cranky/extra whiny, overtired toddler to sweeten the deal. That hasn't helped me feel more rested. Sleeping in never happens. Daniel has started taking Hannah for one or two parts (each are about 6 miles or 45-50 minutes) of his Saturday morning workout - so that has been a nice little break for me. Some mornings he leaves at a time when I'm wide awake, but many mornings I have been able to crawl back into bed for a nice forty-five minute nap. Sometimes longer, but I have found it's best not to get my hopes up!

We've spent the past few weeks soaking in the glorious fall weather and enjoying as many fall activities as possible! I LOVE fall in Maryland! October is the most magical month of the year around here!

 

15 weeks and "going public" at work! -

Wore this shirt for Halloween at work and enjoyed the opportunity to "go public" before the gossip mill was discussing whether I was pregnant/just getting pudgy. My students were super excited about it too!

 

There have been many ways in which things were similar to my first pregnancy (Hannah), but there are ways in which this one is different. While the nausea and aversions were definitely there, in many ways I feel like I am less sensitive to the crazy flux of hormones than I was last time. I partly wonder if that's because I'm still nursing even now, so they never all fully left my system and I never fully reclaimed myself. Regardless, that has been nicer. Once I cleared the first trimester, I feel like I can get away with not snacking quite as frequently - and I don't think I ever got away from that crazy dependence with Hannah, even for a little while. My cravings during the first trimester (or more, what I could manage to eat/the times I wasn't just choking the food down) was really greasy and gross foods - whereas with Hannah, sweets and baked goods were allllllways my weakness. Both of these babies freaking love caprese salad and italian food. But this one is a lot less of a fan of meat, particularly grilled meat - even now, I only marginally want a steak - and if I have some, I want a third or half of a normal "Beth" portion (which is like...a whole chunk of cow normally). What any of that suggests about gender? Who knows - but it will be awfully fun to find out in just a few more weeks!!!

My baby is looks like a "big kid"!!!

 

Posted with Blogsy

Lil' Hals 2.0!

I am so excited to finally be able to announce that we are expecting our second baby! I say finally because, as cultural traditions go, I have known for quite some time (since early August), but we have steadily enjoyed telling some of our family and friends and are thrilled to finally be able to share our big news with more confidence and excitement! My favorite line has been telling everyone that Hannah is going to be a big sister!

So these stories and thoughts are about as candid as it gets...when I found out I was first expecting Hannah, I was just full of excitement.  This time I was full of both excitement and a head swirling with all kinds of things - because this was more complicated - how would it change our family dynamics?  How would it affect Hannah and change things for her?  How will I handle things at work?  Etc, etc, etc.  So, this...is the candid combo of excitement and happiness over the newest member of our sweet little family as well as the initial reactions and concerns, too!

I found out Saturday morning after having some pretty hard core hunches that the test would in fact be positive. ...There had been a few prior cycles it had been a distinct possibility, but I didn't have the symptoms I did this time (although for real...when I started puking all over the Capital lawn at the Capital Fourth concert I honestly thought I was pregnant...when our friend Natalie came down with the same thing the next day I realized I was not...but man, I thought I was pregnant and in for a world of puking if that was how it was starting off!) But this time I had insatiable dry mouth for nearly a week before I tested and when I had looked back at my notes from when I found out I was pregnant with Hannah...that was one of the top three clues then as well. I also had started waking up in the middle of the night to pee and had a moment of "wait, this seems very familiar..." ..several nights in a row.

So, Saturday morning, August 8th, I was standing there at the bathroom counter upstairs, while my mother-in-law was downstairs with Hannah, husband walking the dogs, and father-in-law and sister-in-law soon bound for our house from their hotel room in Silver Spring...I stared, only half believingly at the test that had the faintest of little pink lines, excitedly thinking "Really?! Could it really be true?!"

Could we or should we tell the family that was visiting for the weekend? How was I going to tell Daniel? I ended up just telling Daniel - just kind of blurting it out - while this wasn't unplanned, I did not have an elaborate plan of how I would tell him the big news this time...and with his family visiting for the weekend, it changed things a lot.

He asked if we should tell his family and I said I wanted to take another test and have a more positive result before we told them. So we decided I would head out to Target to get alone time and pick up a few things we needed (I seriously never run errands alone anymore and I majorly miss it). Oh my disastrous trip to Target. This Target is the crappiest Target I have ever had to deal with - and while I was technically on the hunt for some mary jane shoes that would actually fit Hannah (all of a sudden her every day shoes were a no and I thought her toes were going to burst out of them), I was hoping to find shoes super quickly and then head to the personal care area to pick up some more tests. But the shoe department was a mess - it looked like a rummage sale and it was a full on struggle to find a pair of matching shoes of the right size at all. Then, I finally picked up the pregnancy test, checked out, and in truly classy style headed to the restroom to take a digital test - I had been holding it for way too long and was way ready to go. I sounded ridiculous in the bathroom as I attacked the box, desperately trying to get it open before I had an accident, took the test...only to find out that it had thrown an error and the digital test shut itself down (no I did not pee all over it). Ahhh! Knowing I only had one more test I realized I was going to need more than that and headed back into Target, with my bags and receipt in tow, grabbed more tests, checked out again, and then headed home where my in-laws were hanging out (with no idea what was going on). I broke the boxes down and left them in my car and shoved the tests in my pants and headed inside. Lol. It was ridiculous and makes for a great story now!

It took a few days to get a digital positive - but here we go!  Baby Hals #2 is on the way!!!  

We did end up telling Daniel's parents while they were visiting and completely surprised them and the next weekend we told mine while we were at the family reunion in NJ.

Our family of four!

Since that special morning I have run the full gamut of emotions, but increasingly as I work through my nervousness about juggling everything, how it will affect Hannah, how dramatically this will change our lives, etc, what continues to break through and shine is my excitement and contentment that this is our next step. The timing really and truly would never be perfect, but we are continuing to grow our sweet and precious little family and have long decided we would rather our children be close in age and we would rather condense than spread our the duration of the baby land epoch in the Hals kingdom. (Aka - the honest truth? When we pack up the bottles and sippy cups, we want to be able to give them away, not need to unpack them again later on. I know there are dozens of philosophies on how to spread out your family or keep them close together and for us, this is what makes the most sense).

As for that gamut of emotions? There was about a week in which these questions were swirling around in my head...once I answered them I actually felt much better and the excitement steadily increased and increased as I also allowed myself to believe more and more that this was actually going to happen (I, like everyone else, am always so paranoid about sad things happening, I found myself really guarding my excitement this time!)

-am I fucking crazy? (possibly...but people on Facebook do this all the time and their selective pictures that they post when they've dried their hair and put on makeup and dressed both kids up makes it look easy...lol. Yeah. I know.)

Haha.  Hannah was sick with hand, foot, and mouth disease, and the puppies wanted attention too - I think Daniel's face in this picture captures that overwhelmed feeling I had during the first week pretty perfectly.  

-why am I crazy enough to want "everything" and want to continue managing all of this AND my career AND our home? (oh Beth. past, present, and future Beth have a variety of answers on this one. Some of them are very encouraging and kind, some of them are snarky).

First day of school!  Ninth year in education!

-am I really ready to physically destroy myself again? (would I really be that much more ready in a few more months? I think I'm enjoying the idea that once I build myself back this time, it can be for keeps.)

-for over two years now I have continuously shared a part of myself with another human being (June 30, 2013 I found out I was pregnant with Hannah, since then I have either been pregnant or nursing...or now both...continuously...)...why oh why didn't I "reclaim" myself for a month or two first? At this rate it will be four straight years before I get myself back. ...that thought is probably the most suffocating to me. I don't regret nursing for a single moment, it has been wonderful for us, and I can't really imagine weaning Hannah before now, but omg. This is the only thing that makes me a little sad. Granted, when all this is done I will get to keep my misshapen self to myself for the rest of my life, but still. A month or two break would have been nice. However...I will add that one of the key parts of me being willing to go for baby #2 is the fact that I felt SO MUCH BETTER once I stopped pumping during the day and only nursed morning, late afternoon, evening - during the past few months I have really felt like myself again. Hence, the willingness to hope for baby #2.
**nearly two months after writing this I am almost completely done nursing and feel much better about this part. But for real - this was the thing that was freaking me out at first....it was just such a suffocating thought. Selfish perhaps - but very honest. We're down to 5-10 minutes before bed - and that is very sweet and snuggly and special time still and it helps turn the "time for bed" switch on for Hannah. I'm so grateful for all of that that I am just fine with keeping that ritual a little longer and cherish it.

-can our marriage survive it? (probably? Yes, it totally can if we keep the Team Hals mentality. We do the worst when we turn things into a "you vs. me". It can get gross quickly. We just need to stay away from the blame game and keep the kids from dividing and conquering us.)

I very deeply heart Team Hals

-How the hell am I going to walk two dogs and two babies in the park? (folks the jury is still out on this one because if I put Hannah in a stroller and walk the dogs I look like a drunken sailor...I have since begun to investigate tandem strollers and have been working on my ability to walk the dogs and a stroller-bound Hannah...I'm improving)

-Can I wear two ergos and balance them out with one baby on each side? (I'm seriously not kidding, can it be done?) ...okay I have googled it. It can. (ahhhh, lovely sigh of relief...and realization that I think I could take all four on a walk.)

Sure, I can let Hannah walk on the trail...but when we near the road to head home she transforms into a willful, I-may-be-only-18-months-old-but-let-me-show-you-what-terrible-twos-can-look-like situation when I want her to hold my hand to cross the street.  *Sigh*

-How will our family get around? Well, we seriously cannot afford to live in the area, pay for daycare squared and get a bigger car, so those sweet 2001 and 2007 honda civics are where it's at folks. So...if Daniel drives, I ride in the passenger seat, we get two carseats in the back, Chance can lay in the floor in the back and Holly can ride on my lap...our family can go on an outing. (no, I'm not kidding, we have had this conversation...but good thing the park is across the street).

Multitasking anyone?  It's what the Hals do best!

I hope Hannah loves her little brother/sister as much as she loves her puppies!!!

omgoodness I love these two!

But again, in all seriousness. Deep down, I am so excited about this adventure! As we have hit the critical checkpoints through the pregnancy, (confirmed heartbeat!, nuchal translucency scan with a beautiful waving, wiggling baby!), I have steadily allowed myself to believe that we really are going to have a baby and have become more and more excited!  My heart warms when I think about all four of us cuddling up on the couch to read board books together and I am already dreaming of all of the baby snuggles and the whole world just screeching to a halt (or at least my world...the rest keeps spinning) while I shut the door and just melt into baby love. I love to picture Hannah and Daniel working together to make our littlest one laugh. And I love thinking about what his/her hair and eyes and mouth will look like and itch for that first true smile.

Lil' Hals 2.0 @ 11.5 weeks!

Our sweet little pumpkin patch!

Posted with Blogsy

Hannah @ 18 Months

At 18 months Hannah is sweet, enthusiastic, and adorable!  It's been a busy month and I'm posting this late - so here are the cliff notes/highlights I have been jotting down through the month:  

• Bedtime routines have improved dramatically.  Now we can consistently have bath time, Showers! We put on pi's, we snuggle (and nurse) and then I tuck her into bed, while she is still awake and she snuggles up with her blankets and stuffed animals and pillow and goes to sleep.  She was SO happy when I gave her a pillow (she had been balling up a blanket under her head, so it was time).  

• She is increasingly communicative, even if it isn't always by many spoken words.

• She screams when she is frustrated.  It is annoying.  I would love to say it's cute, but ugggh.  I would love if she would just ask for help.  We're working on it.  (I wrote that as we hit eighteen months), as we near 20 months I can say that we have had significant improvement, but it is still a habit modification in progress.  

• She makes little, short sounds for "please" when prompted, "CH" for Chance, and "Haa" for Holly.  She can now say Mama distinctly.  

• She snuggles by resting her head on my shoulder when she's tired or doesn't feel well and sweetly surrenders into my shoulder and neck - I have wanted that for so long, but she was just too willful/strong/busy to every snuggle in.  I love that part.  

• Yesterday evening was total cuteness!  We were playing in her playroom and she picked up a toy tiger, pointed it towards me and wiggled it at me saying "grrrrrrrrr!  grrrrrrrr!"  and smiling at me. 

• I can leave without her bursting into tears!  Woohoo!  Many mornings I leave while Hannah is watching Sesame Street, as she drinks her milk and noms on her cereal.  I can say goodbye and wave as I slink out the door and she gives me a chill, nodding a "peace out mommy" kind of nod.  Today...she was not distracted and when she saw me grabbing my purse came running around to where I put my shoes on and stood there (I nervously thought, oh crap, she's going to cry and it's going to be a messy exit today).  She looked me up and down, cocked her head and said "Bye!" (first time I had heard her say it!!) and then blew me a kiss!  *OMG talk about a heart melter!!!! What a triumphant morning goodbye!  I was even able to give her a kiss and then leave with a child happily, contentedly waving goodbye, no tears!*  

She loves...

• Sesame Street!!!  Particularly Abby's Flying Fairy School (uggh) and Elmo's World (Daniel's uggh).  We have a love hate relationship with Sesame Street...but this month as we have battled hand foot and mouth disease and the start of the school year...we LOVE Sesame Street!  

• to play with crayons and scribble on things, she particularly loves pens. 

• to put things in "order"

• her farm and the animals in it...if I start singing "old McHannah had a farm..." She runs for it and holds up each animal.  

• her puppies, they continue to become closer than ever!  Holly plays a wake up game and pokes her nose or paw through different spaces in the crib!  And Hannah often summons Chance from the top of the stairs, callling his name.  It's adorable.  She has also taken to trying to hug them each more.  

• Climbing!!  She loves to scale the couch and climb on the window sill.  We're working on it - but she's very fast.

• Loves to feed her dogs, if you ask her if she wants to help feed them she gasps and wiggles with excitement.  

• To throw birdseed (outside) and continually begs to go outside to scatter it,  

• To play the matching game that her Aunt Mary-Michele brought her from France.  It has four cards, one for each season that each have four pictures on them.  She likes to take the little circular pieces that have a picture on them and match them to the cards - and can do so quite quickly.  

Top Words - 
shower, Holly, Ch for Chance, balloon, hot, down, mama, dada, thank you, please, that, yes, hi, bye, this, shoes, socks, cereal, Kix, more, all done,  bubbles balloon butterfly, uhoh,
Sounds animals make - lion, snake, bear, tiger, seal, cat, dog, elephant, monkey, camel,
mimics - fish, crabs, hippos, koala, kangaroo, frog, penguin, parent,

Favorite Songs - Old McHannah Had a Farm, the Itsy Bitsy Spider, and the Wheels on the Bus, Row Your Boat, and Barney's "I Love you, you love me" song (No, we do NOT watch Barney...but daycare sings that song and she loves it).

Hannah@17 Months!

Hannah@ 17 months!

Very little about Hannah is "baby" anymore as it is, but something about writing @ 17 months...man.  However, as I post this two days before she reaches 18 months, I chuckle at myself because that disbelief has long since dissipated.  

Seventeen months by stream of consciousness...

17 months was a busy month, from mid July to mid August.  Some of our best highlights, happenings, and adventures from the month:

Nap time!

playing in the fountain - downtown Silver Spring

Someone loves the fountain!

Where did the water go?  (The fountain was the one that had different jets spouting water at different times...Hannah couldn't quite figure it out!)

Imitation -my nose was runny for a few days, so I was using tissues more than normal.  So this week Hannah started pulling tissues from tissue boxes, practicing blowing her nose, and then putting the tissues in the trash.  It was pretty darn cute.

The number one way to get Hannah to stop fussing - whether from a diaper change or any other time, is to ask her to help me.  Open the door, turn off the light, or the number one "fussy toddler" solution?  "hannah please take your diaper and put it in the trash" - it takes enough focus and energy that all crying suddenly stops, she takes a deep breath and is so focused on the task she can't do anything else - it's really really neat to see!  :)

Overall she just really LOVES to help!  The phrase "can you help me...." gets her attention.  She helps me put clothes in the drier, carries things to the trash, drops food in the food processor (that was a favorite), helps clean, helps wipe up water when she spills, pulls the plug on the tub, you name it!  

helping me clean!

Every once in a while she still falls asleep in my arms :)

Walking the trail with her pups, this is her "big girl" walk.  

This month she has also become very empathetic.  She is very easily upset by violence.  One evening at dinner, Daniel had teased me way too and I finally responded by attacking him with tickles/attempting to tickle him (which involved him backing out of the room, batting to defend himself, saying "no" as I laughingly batted at him and tried to poke him/tickle)...and Hannah FREAKED out.  It was honestly chilling.  For days I thought about the impact that domestic violence must have on children - I saw the look of terror and heard Hannah's scream and was so shaken as I imagined the longer term impact it could have on a child who grew up in that kind of environment.  Just a few days later, Chance was playing in the backyard and severed one of his nails (poor Chance!) and within a minute or so of all of us getting inside I realized he was bleeding all over the hardwood floor in the living room.  I called out to Daniel to keep Hannah out while I worked on containing the situation, but Hannah was right there, saw the blood everywhere and was hysterical.  Our little girl has developed empathy!  

The Original Florida Family Reunites...

When we moved to Florida, we met two couples in the first month - all three of us (couples) had newly transplanted to FL and were either newly married or engaged and all of the boys worked at the same company.  We had a lot in common and bonded quickly - it was the very beginning of our beloved "Florida Family."  Over time we have all moved out of FL and have expanded our families.  Kristi and Grant braved a drive from Michigan with their two elementary age children and came out to Maryland to visit those of us who have preschoolers that we aren't crazy enough to shove in a car (we're super grateful they were willing!!)  It was a great visit and was downright magical to watch all of our kids (the "cousins") playing together.  Hannah is old enough now to jump in and play with "the big kids" and loved it.  We enjoyed a weekend braving DC, hanging out, and watching our kiddos chase each other all throughout Arthur and Kristina's house.  

The Florida "cousins"

Our crew reunites!

And this is the real picture lol.

While in DC, Hannah majorly enjoyed the Natural History Museum and loved the lions, the hippo, and the penguins that she saw.  She was far too young to question the creepy taxidermy.  

She loved playing with Kristi's sweet children

Look at that look!  

Hannah became a monkey this month!  She can scale all our furniture now!

She loves looking out the window - and loves throwing birdseed so she can feed the birds, squirrels, and chipmunks that frequent our yard.  

Croup :(

So right after our lovely weekend with our friends and watching Hannah romp through DC, she fatefully came down with a walloping round of croup and was down for the count with four days of fever.  She was extra fussy, extra feverish, extra clingy, extra whiny, and all around pitiful for days upon days and while I did my best to soak in the baby snuggles and the down time, overall my baby was miserable, I was going stir crazy, and it lasted way longer than was welcome.  On a positive note...when Hannah is sick we are always powerfully reminded of how delightful she is when she is actually well

Sleeping in Target after her doctor's visit to make sure it wasn't spreading to her lungs...we had to duck into target while she was napping for the survival groceries to make it through the week!  I walked like a hunchback through the store so she would stay asleep!  

Sick doctor's visits = ice cream.  Poor babe.

Napping

Feeling better!

Daddy and Mommy?
Daniel's been enjoying the gradual slow down that came from surviving the Pluto Flyby.  I really enjoyed teaching summer school, but was thrilled when it drew to a close.  3.5 hour classes four days a week for five weeks turns into a grind no matter how exciting and innovative my lessons.  At the end of the month, my school closed its offices for a week and I got a bonus week off.  I was so excited - I had a mix of plans that ranged from things I wanted to catch up on around the house, to a day of me time and errands, lunch and movie dates with Daniel, and a trip to SC.  BUT.  Hannah came down with croup Sunday morning and had a high fever for four days.  For at least three of those days all she wanted to do was snuggle and sleep and was very fussy and unhappy.  It was so tough, because I was continually torn between fully embracing all of the sweet snuggles and chance to watch TV, but I was also so disappointed because I had so so so looked forward all of the things I had hoped to do that week - and her sick days were obliterating the days I had dog-eared for myself.  But, I was also super grateful that if she was going to be so sick it wasn't on days that I was forced to miss work.

After having to cancel our SC trip and spending a week snuggling with a baby who would NOT let me budge from the couch (I could barely put her down to use the restroom without her sobbing uncontrollably for several days), by the time Hannah was better we were in desperate need of some truly "fun" time and also in need of some couple time.  Daniel also had time off because of all the overtime he had worked while he was manning the New Horizons mission.  We ended up with two free days - the first day we stayed close in case Hannah regressed and we enjoyed a long fancy lunch and a movie.  The second day we decided to truly go for it and dropped Hannah off at daycare and headed for Six Flags America!  One of the most fun days we have had in a very very long time - we spent the whole day riding roller coasters and enjoying the water park.  The lines were almost nonexistent and we had an amazing time!  It was so incredibly refreshing to spend a day by ourselves, on our own, only worried about ourselves and how we could have some fun.  We timed it so that we left before rush hour, grabbed a bite to eat and a beer at a local pub near her daycare, and then picked up our sweet girl and enjoyed our evening together, feeling refreshed!  

"Rebels" - we made a break for it and headed to an amusement park for some very well earned adult fun!

This one was awesome!  You ride it on your back - but when you glide along the rails it actually is as if you are a bird or a bat and have a birds eye view as you fly around - so so so much fun!

The puppies?Playing with Holly - it has evolved - they play with very little adult interference now...and Holly could very easily rip the toy out of Hannah's hand and run away with it, but instead, she enjoys the "tug of war" game they play and the hunt and will even seek Hannah out, with the toy in her mouth ready to go.  

Hannah loves to give Chance hugs and lean in for kisses.

She loves trying on shoes!

Going outside to run through the yard is another favorite

This cart was a huge win at Wegmans!

Bowling!  She loves it!

How Hannah rolls.  Sesame Street, milk, water, and kix way too early on a Saturday morning

She loves helping me in the kitchen!

adorable!  this was the first time she actually posed and smiled for a picture

I love these two!

Daniel's family visited in a whirlwind weekend while Stephanie was up here to attend her One Directions (Christmas present) concert.  Hannah adored playing with the two teenage girls (Stephanie and her friend, Emily) and had a blast catching up with her grandparents as well while Daniel and I snuck out to see Mission Impossible in IMAX (and it was awesome!).  We had a slower pace on Sunday once the larger crew hit the road and it was just Daniel's dad left to hang out before his flight.  Overall, we had a great time catching up with everyone and Hannah loved it!

watching videos with Grandma

this child loves ice cream - this was after a bite of Ben & Jerry's

more please!!

The next weekend we headed up to NJ for my family's reunion and skipped town on the early side of Friday and enjoyed one last summer day off of work before the back-to-school craziness hits for me.  Hannah met many of her extended family for the first time and we enjoyed catching up with everyone and celebrating my Grandparent's 60th wedding anniversary and my grandfather's 90th birthday!

playing with a game Aunt Mary-Michele brought her from Paris

Two amazing couples!  My grandparents are on the left, my grandmother's brother and his wife are on the right - they drove up and surprised her for the party!  

Chilling in the pool at the reunion

Absolutely beat after the reunion!

blowing kisses to her great grandfather!

blowing kisses to her great grandmother!

Our family @ 17 months!

Posted with Blogsy