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Thursday, April 17, 2014

Our First Month with Miss Hannah!

In the past month Hannah has filled us with awe, joy, and contentment and she has spent the past month steadily snuggling and cooing her way deeper and deeper into our hearts. When she was born Daniel and I were both surprised by how "chirpy" she was - her cries ended with a chirp, she ate with a chirpy slurp sound at times, and her frequent hiccups even sounded like a cuckoo clock. Could she be any cuter? I could go on and on about how beautiful she is or how much I love her eyelashes and her little nose and little lips and soft, full baby cheeks, but I will let the pictures speak for me and just say that you can resst assured that I have spent many an hour gazing in awe at my perfectly formed little girl.
Hannah's first few hours in the hospital :)
Hannah about 10 days old
Hannah about 10 days old
Hannah about 10 days old
Hannah about 10 days old
Hannah about 10 days old
Hannah about 10 days old
Hannah about 3 weeks old - this face captured her mood that day...
Hannah about 3 weeks old

Hannah about 3 weeks old
Hannah about 3 weeks old
Hannah about 3 weeks old

We have been beyond pleasantly surprised by her patience - she certainly does cry, but it takes several degrees of fussing before she is in a full blown "burn the house down" cry - and usually we can head off the full scream (which is awesome and something we totally were not expecting). Everyone has said (particularly Daniel) that she has a surprisingly quiet cry too. Seriously? Hannah you're awesome!

Okay, so she does cry sometimes.
Hannah heading home from the hospital
Hannah about 10 days old

She is a champion eater and over achiever. In the hospital when they carefully track the babies outputs there was a day when Hannah was supposed to have something like one wet diaper and two poopy ones. I think she had four wet diapers and five poopy ones. The nurse from the nursery came in and told us we had an over achiever and Daniel and I just looked at each other and grinned. Daniel is proud to announce she has already managed several blowouts and sent her mommy scrubbing her clothes on several occasions.

Yup. Like this one. These make Daniel very proud...but he also runs. Quickly.

Happy Hannah - 2 days old!
Hannah - 1 week

She has started to find her voice and coos and ahhs through the day. She will sneeze and then finish it with an adorable soft baby sigh. She has the intoxicating baby smell. Mmmm. She loves to sleep in my arms or on my chest, in fact her food source is also her favorite pillow. Like most all babies she loves to be moving so the ergo carrier, her stroller, and her swing are all favorite places to nap. She is capable of letting me shower some times and will coo and look around in her rock and play beside the shower while she enjoys the white noise and the songs I sing to her.

Hannah loves riding in the ergo

Check out those dimples! :)

We survived the three week growth spurt even though there were a few different days when she ate around the clock, but the most notable was the one when she slept from 12 am - 2 am and then wanted food at 2 am, 3 am, 4 am, 5 am, 6 am, 7 am, 8 am, 10 am, 11 am, 12 pm, 1 pm, 2 pm, 3 pm, 4 pm, 5 pm, and 6 pm...but then she allowed us to go out to a restaurant for dinner for a friend's birthday party (our first dinner out) and didn't cry for food until the moment we walked in the door and were home for the night. We have to give her some credit though - she is not the worst sleeper. There have been some nights were she gives me a 4-5 hour stretch. Generally it's about three, but there have been some really amazing surprise nights where she has given me 5. She spends a great deal of the day awake and we have yet to have anything close to an anticipated nap time.

And sometimes she sleeps :)
This was Hannah sleeping! Seriously! She grins that widely in her sleep! Check out those dimples! :)

She cries the moment she has soiled her diaper and is often a faster indicator than the stripe on her pampers swaddles...even if I changed her diaper ten minutes previously. Maybe she'll be easy to potty train? But I think it does mean we are flying through diapers even more than we would if she didn't shriek because she peed a little. We have used an economy pack of 216 in 14 days. Maybe that's standard fare, but I can't imagine that's not on the high side.


She has successfully taken bottles (after I've pumped, we're still succeeding on exclusively breastfeeding!) and even let me out of the house to enjoy Daniel's birthday present - tickets to see Itzhak Perlman (he was AMAZING...I have never heard a violin performed with better tone...such an honor to witness!) and Berlioz's Symphonie Fantastique (which was one of my ultimate bucket list concerts I have wanted to see). We have also taken Hannah on a few adventures as well - she has been out to the park with family and with her brave mom who took Hannah, Chance and Holly to the park by herself. Hannah's also been with me to Target and Wegmans, so we are steadily making it out on our own! She's also been to several restaurants now and made it to DC to see the cherry blossoms in peak bloom!

Hannah's first trip out! Headed to the park when she was six days old to get some fresh air!
The first Cherry Blossom experience for the whole family!
We made it to DC!
Tired, but enjoying the cherry blossoms and a beautiful spring day!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She has snuggled and chirped and cooed and wiggled her way into the hearts of all four of her grandparents, all of her aunts and uncle, and the adoring fans who have dropped by for snuggles. She has remarkably already been held by her uncle and all of her aunts who live on this continent.

When my mom first met Hannah - I love this picture!
Auntie Em
Meeting G-Hals
Smelling G-Hals' breath? I have no idea, but that face is hilarious!
Meeting my dad!
Aunt Alison
Meredith
Stephanie and Brendyn
Brendyn working his magic
Aunt Stephanie and Uncle Michael

In terms of growth and appearance? She was 9 pounds 9 ounces and 20.25 inches at birth. When we left the hospital she was down to 8 pounds 14 ounces and at her day after discharge check she was down to 8 pounds 10 ounces. At the ten day check up Hannah had gained 9 ounces in six days and had grown 1.25 inches since she was born and was at the top of the charts for both height and weight! We have an appointment on Friday and I will be very interested to see how much she has grown! As is expected with caucasian babies, her eyes were blue at birth and at a month they still are - it is a dark blue with grey to it and Daniel and I think her eyes will turn brown - but so far they are blue. Her hair has continued to grow and is a dark brown - but I swear there are hints of red on the top - but really I am probably wishing it there. The back of her head is all a beautiful dark brown color. She no longer has the gross umbilical stump and has a cute belly button that is slowly but surely inverting! She is defintiely growing! After two weeks we started shifting out of newborn clothes and now at a month, after passing the three week growth spurt she no longer fits in any of her newborn footed PJs and most all of her NB clothes have been put away! Sniff sniff! She's growing already and is definitely longer than she was! She has better eye focus and neck control and is definitely getting stronger, although from the very beginning everyone (but me...who Knew her active acrobat was a strong one from all her movements on the inside) has marveled at her strength and activeness. She loves gesturing with her hands and pushing with her feet.

This outfit was too cute not to share

She also seems to love to look above our heads in an act Daniel and I have both independently dubbed "The English Teacher" - and when we have said as much to a wide variety of others they all get it and laugh. Did all English teachers go to the same "finishing school" or something? I know not all English teachers do it...but enough that people have universally known what we mean! It often seems like she's looking above our heads to the pictures we have on the wall from our trips, so we have jokingly said she is checking out all the places she wants to go. :) Really, she may just be checking out the glare from these or the reflections they make - but it often seems like she is actually focusing on them.

 

It has snowed FOUR times since Hannah was born. Obviously, this child is not a Florida baby.

Daniel is hanging in there! Since I am breastfeeding he can only do so much at night, but since she sleeps in our room the broken sleep is still adding up for him. He has learned a great deal about how to prepare/steam/broil just about every veggie I ever make and has made some delicious meals of grilled chicken and yummy veggies. He has done a great job keeping me and the pups fed and watered and is transitioning into being Hannah's daddy quite nicely. He can confidenty change a diaper without thinking and can tame a fussy Hannah. I love listening to him talk to her as he changes her diaper. :)

Wait, we are going to take her home?!
Daddy's little girl!
I LOVE this picture! Hannah - 3 or 4 days old!
Add caption
But I'm le tired...
The first meal Daniel made me! It was awesome! (And so was the red wine! Mmmmm!)

Chance and Holly are doing well too! Chance has warmed my heart over and over again this past year and never ceases to amaze me! Everytime I doubt him, he surprises me with his awesomeness. He handled the move to Maryland, the new townhome digs, became an amazing big brother and role model for Holly, and has become a protective and loving big brother to Hannah. He is her ultimate protector and frequently sits at the feet of whoever is holding her, makes sure she is okay when people leave, checks on her when she is wailing, and likes to kiss her feet and the back of her head when allowed.

Chance is very stressed about his new role
Evidently the dogs were super hyper while I was in the hospital. When I came home with Hannah they crashed really really hard - all was finally right in the Hals' home.

Holly had a tougher time - she went from being the baby in the house to becoming the middle child and even though she loves children, she doesn't seem to realize Hannah is one just yet. She is more inclined to think Hannah is another one to play with her - so when Hannah is having tummy time Holly likes to keep her company and is learning (from my stern direction) that a wiggling Hannah is not beckoning her to play a game of "catch me if you can" haha. Otherwise, she is respectful of Hannah's space and has not once jumped up on me and into Hannah's territory. We have made an effort to play with her each day (like we used to) and to try to help maintain some normalcy for her. The biggest adjustment? When Holly needs to go out I can't instantly take her - but she is six months old now and luckily can now hold it while I finish feeding Hannah and get us all ready to head outside. In the morning they each take turns standing watch by snoozing with us at the foot of the bed. Overall? Our pups are adjusting very well!

Holly watching over Hannah...and trying to figure out if she wants to play. (She doesn't.)

And how am I doing? Wonderfully! I would honestly give just about anything to relive this month. Seriously! I have found that I love the newborn stage and the snuggles. I am looking forward to her being more interactive, but I am not rushing or wishing a single day away! We have had a few moments of frustration but no full blown Hannah induced meltdowns yet! I have loved getting lost in the moment and not caring that I just spent forty minutes cuddling and gazing at my beautiful little daugter. Physically I am feeling much stronger, have much more energy than I did in the week after I gave birth, and have healed a great deal. I am still not 100% and am certainly not my pre-pregnant self just yet, but I am trying to be patient and to realize that will happen over time. Overall, I am happy and content with my new role and latest promotion in life and could not to be happier to be able to proudly say that I am Hannah's Mom. :)

Hannah's birthday!
Hannah and me at 3ish weeks!
Our family at one month!

 

Thursday, March 13, 2014

39 Weeks - The Waiting Game is a Brutal Mental One!

39 Weeks!

 

March 6 - March 12, 2014

 

Week 39 was brutal. There's really no way it couldn't be...you could find yourself in labor and finally get to meet your baby...ANY DAY. Even though you try to stay busy it is hard not to misinterpret ever little twinge. I should have never ever even asked the moms when they went into labor (for both it was during the 39th week) so what did I niavely think? That I would go into labor once I hit week 39 and change. Sigh. By the time I hit 39 weeks and 4 or 5 days I was truly an emotional roller coaster dying to get things started. So...lesson learned. My recommendation to someone and to my future self if I were to do this again? Be ready enough by 38 weeks (like basics in the hospital bag) but truly think of your due date as the start of when you could go into labor with the idea it could be a few days from there. Then if it happens early it is a delightful surprise. I should have never let myself get my hopes up, it made the week so so much harder.

This is the last of the blue shirt pics...me at a whopping 39 weeks

 

Bottom line - I spent the week trying to stay busy. At my 39 week appointment my doctor checked and again, no progress. Sigh. I know it doesn't really mean much of anything (you can make progress quite quickly or stay the same for weeks and weeks), but still, it's hard not to let it upset you. There were two driving forces through the week. One, I was concerned about the notion that once I went into labor and headed to the hospital the moms were going to beeline it to Maryland and would probably be staying at our house before I was home from the hospital...so...My motivation to keep things tidy and maintained on a daily basis was quite high (pair that with a bit of nesting and bam...I would catch myself cleaning and scrubbing at weird times). I finally purged our old FL bills and files and created a filing system for all our Maryland stuff...(yep, I'd been putting that one off). I paid all of the upcoming bills and scheduled payments for other ones, set alerts in my phone for the ones I might forget about, ordered an extra shipment of toilet paper, made sure we had hand sanitizer and hand soap in the house for guests, etc...all kinda of random little things. Thursday night (39 weeks) I started having mild contractions. Very mild - but it was the start of it all! Friday was a very chill day and Meredith came over for the finish-the-season House of Cards marathon - Season 2 was epic and awesome! I spent the evening enjoying the show, but again was pretty uncomfortable through the evening with mild, but strong enough to be uncomfy contractions.

 

And I took on a strategy I would actually recommend to many - I tried to plan something for each day that would be fun/a reward of sorts if I was stillllll pregnant. So Saturday? Still pregnant! Daniel and I drove to Bethesda for a DC Cupcakes run. I had made him promise me that if I gave him another weekend (aka Hannah stayed put) I earned cupcakes! We ran a bunch of other errands too - we signed up for library cards with Howard County (evidently our library was the best in the nation last year), shopped at Sams Club, and had friends over for dinner (I was determined to cook and host as long as I could because I knew I would suck at it once Hannah arrived). I had contractions through the whole evening again and for the first and only time that week was relieved when I got to go to sleep rather than having them intensify into the real deal (it had been a very busy day and I was absolutely exhausted).

DC cupcakes...in our defense some of these were for a friend!

 

Sunday was rough. I slept horribly...I got 8 hours of broken crappy sleep and woke up feeling as if I had not slept at all only to come downstairs, eat breakfast, and slip into a sleep coma on the couch that was so twisted I continually woke myself up with my own mumblings and would open an eye to see Daniel laughing at me. Sigh. It was a day full of more pre-labor symptoms, super swollen feet, and a grumpy tired whale of a Beth.

 

Monday because I was still pregnant I rewarded myself with something I had been waiting on for weeks - a prenatal massage. It was amazing and awesome and was a reason to temporarily be grateful I was still pregnant. When I hit the grocery sore afterwards my "self control" switch was truly broken. Pretty hard to rationalize not eating whatever sweets you want when you know you will only be pregnant for a few more days and you are epically miserable with out of control hormones. Yep. When I found the new Ben & Jerry's core ice cream was in stock I was escatic.

 

Tuesday was a day full of catnaps - I was so so tired. Then in the afternoon I went to the chiropractor for the last time, rewarded myself for still being pregnant with a pedicure, finally found a great robe to wear at the hospital that came with a great nursing night gown (for home...which I really love), and then I fatefully made it to prenatal yoga one last time. I was late getting there and almost didn't go but I am so so so glad I did. It was much needed closure and felt like graduation for my pregnancy. I started going when I was maybe 16 weeks along or so? And while I didn't go every single week I went about 80% of the time. It was the one constant while everything else changed. And when the instructor asked - who's getting close? Do we have anyone who is 37 weeks? 38 weeks? I was able to grin and say "I'm due on Thursday!" Woohoo! I was super proud of how much of the stuff I could still do well (there was one squat thing that I couldn't do because of the pubic symphysis pain, but I could do everything else!) and the instructor pulled me aside and told me I looked awesome for two days from due, I left feeling like a triumphant graduate. YAY!

 

Wednesday I ran more errands and came to terms with the fact that yep, I was going to make it to my due date. Contractions started getting more intense and were different starting Wednesday night but still - I waved week 39 good bye with a miserable glare, cursed myself for ever thinking I wouldn't make it to my due date, and got increasingly excited at the notion that if I was reaching my due date...I really and truly couldn't be far from there!!!

Out for a walk in the park with my pups.
A very happy Holly! She is totally fine with Hannah not making her arrival just yet!

 

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

38 weeks! Are we there yet?

38 Weeks! February 27th - March 5th, 2014

Baby Countdown! 2 weeks to go? Maybe? Maybe less maybe more? Who knows!

 

As I mentioned in the last post, while I have felt crummier as I progressed through the third trimester, I didn't really feel like I turned the corner to miserable until 37 weeks 6 days...and as I have weathered week 38 I would say I still feel the same way. I'm definitely feeling just downright craptastic. Still functional most days, but I'm exhausted and everything is achey and I can't help but to be a little grumpy. I had some pretty intense pubic symphysis pain this week to the extent that Daniel was designated full time dog walker for a day. But most days I've been able to walk them several times (and am today!)

 

My weekly checkup went pretty well - Hannah is still doing great, whether I feel great or not, so that's really all that matters. It's pretty real when your appointment ends with the doctor reminding you when you should call them or go to the hospital. Are we really there? Yes, yes we are!

38 Weeks!
38 Weeks!

Highlights of the week? Thursday we continued our House of Cards obsession with Meredith and the two of them (Meredith and Daniel) assembled more baby things and moved the rocking recliner from the basement up to the nursery! Friday night we met up with Meredith, Stephanie, and Brendyn to enjoy a trip to Georgetown Cupcakes (Mmmm!) and Seasons 52! We were super excited that everyone liked the restaurant - none of them had ever been, but we have created fans! And we celebrated Brendyn passing the final component of the CPA exam! Super exciting! I was really impressed with Seasons 52 as well - when we mentioned it to them they showed up with a complimentary champagne toast (and yes, an alternative pretty fizzy drink for me)!

 

Saturday was a lovely low key day with the husband - we both recognized it could be our last weekend evening together and enjoyed grabbing a bite to eat and coming back to watch Ender's Game. There was an excitement there that reminded me of the times when we try to soak it all in because we know things are changing. It's in moments like that that I know Daniel is excited too, even if he doesn't show it in the ways that I do.

We hadn't taken a couples picture in a while...somehow we thought this was funny. I've grown, Holly's grown, Daniel is hanging in there!

 

Sunday I decided to make Daniel's favorite meal (chicken enchiladas), which is a far more involved meal than some of the ones I make. I wanted to do what I could to make him feel special or fussed over given that we are heading into a rather long run of "hey take care of me and Hannah" time. Meredith came over to hang out and we may or may not have continued our HoC (house of cards) obsession. (Yes, we're addicted and loving Season 2!) Sunday morning we had also woken up with the realization that there was a storm coming that could a) have a barometric pressure drop that could trigger labor and b) during the heart of it before roads were cleared could impede my ability to get to the hospital. Yikes! Wasn't crazy nervous or freaking out, but I definitely was glad when I didn't suddenly have my water break in the hours that we had a big ole sheet of ice and ten inches of uncleared snow on the ground. By late Monday afternoon the roads were clear enough that we could have figured it out and the pups were happy frolicking in the powder!

She LOVES the snow! Day 11 post surgery and doing great!
Meredith - dog whisperer :)
Daniel definitely wanted to take a picture of me and my winter coat. Yep. Do you know how nice it will be to actually button a coat over my belly?

 

For Fat Tuesday I was hell bent on finding some King's Cake to devour...seemed pretty fitting. I've spent the past week oscillating between being excited and happy to being very discouraged and grumpy...and the rapidity at which I go between these emotions is crazy. I feel like rational Beth is standing off to the side shaking her head. I know it's the hormones, but I despise emotional roller coastering, most especially from myself.

 

Feel like I am on the verge of something so much bigger than me...something too large and magnificent to put into perspective. ...Every time I think I've wrapped my brain around what's coming up I realize I only have a fraction of the picture - it's just so huge!

 

Heading into week 38 I still had some lingering things on my to do list, but as I head into week 39 I have resolved them or they are minor things that can wait or more wish-list keep busy kind of items. I am trying to relish the last moments of my pregnancy (but at this point you really just aren't comfy and it's hard to relish feeling crappy), but I am trying to relish the one on one time with my puppies, husband, friends, the quiet, the calm, the ability to relax and do things at my own pace, and the squirms and movements from our little girl. But that said...I've been doing that for the past nine months! I am also ready for snuggles with our little Hannah and to really get our next adventure started!

My cute snuggle bums :)

 

 

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Hannah's Room!!!

I hesitate to say that the nursery will ever actually be done...but...for all intensive purposes, her room is done! YAY! Super excited to share!

 

When I first started brainstorming on a nursery I really had absolutely no idea where to start. In fact, the nursery pictures online that I seemed to relate to most quickly were of nurseries for little boys and then when Daniel's dad originally predicted we were having a boy it seemed to all fit! So imagine my surprise when I learned we were having a little girl! Should I embrace the pink? Opt for the purple alternative route? Or should I consider going contemporary and finding a way to work in the new turquoise and pink combo I'm seeing more and more of? Or pink and grey...I almost almost went for the grey and pink chevron look, which I loved. I found I really loved paisley and damask, but the challenge with paisley is that pink and green paisley seems to be an incredibly popular color choice as of late. It's really hard to fine things without that lime green worked in!

But, in the end I wanted classic and elegant, but cute and excitedly chose pink and chocolate brown! I fell in love with the pink and chocolate damask things I found and also figured out a way to work in a few jungle animals - mainly cute, adorable rounded giraffes (and some fun elephants too!) So in the end? I totally embraced the pink! (obviously, right?)

View of the nursery to the right
I've gone around in circles on this one...but I have stumbled across various nursery reveals on blogs that identify where everything came from and actually really appreciated all the information, so here goes! The crib in this picture is the Renaissance Solid Panel Convertible Crib by Baby's Dream Furniture in Espresso. My one warning with this piece is that the we ran into a lot of widely varying estimates for how long it would take to get this furniture. When we bought a couch last year they told us 6-8 weeks, so we were bracing ourselves for that as a maximum...but around here stores said SIXTEEN to TWENTY-FOUR weeks! REALLY?! The latter estimate is more than half of someone's pregnancy - come on! That was why Daniel's mom ended up driving her way into Sainthood (as if she hasn't done that already in so many other ways) and found this crib and dresser in stock at a very large baby store in Charlotte - she rented a truck and drove the furniture all the way up here and drove back home the next day! Holy cow! I was so overwhelmed by her determination, thoughtfulness and willingness to make sure the crib made it before Hannah did! The bedding set in the picture is from my parents and is Brooke by Bananafish. The crib skirt, blanket, and pillow are all part of this set (yes, I know the pillows come out when the baby goes in - but for now it's pretty!) I custom ordered the boppy cover from Etsy and also custom ordered the minky sheets (which have a Hannah applique on them as well!)

 

The artwork below was all painted by my aunt and Godmother Mary-Michele Morall who is quite the talented artist! I called her to see if she could paint a custom print that mirrored one I had seen online, which led to brainstorming on both of our ends - particularly about what types of phrases/values I wanted to instill/encourage, and then Mary's creativity went from there - I am SO SO SO in love with what she came up with!!!!

She worked in animals from all the different continents we have visited - don't you love the blue footed booby in the bottom left corner?! :)
"Reach for the Stars" and the actual stars are in glow in the dark paint! Do you see which friends are snuggled up in the corner of her room and who is looking in on Miss Hannah? I LOVE it!
This was the original inspiration for all the art work
The background of this painting is Hannah going on journeys all over the world!
See her sailing and sledding?
visiting igloos and riding in hot air balloons!
scuba Hannah who also visits Russia and Egypt and rides trains! I love it!
Growth chart! She designed this as well and her dear friend Gwen printed it for us!
I also had several projects that I wanted to complete on my own. These were the things that I made myself!
Growth chart! She designed this as well and her dear friend Gwen printed it for us!
Bow holder!
Headband holder!
Mobile! I saw this idea on Etsy and decided I thought I could figure out how to make it myself! Really thrilled with how it came out! Pink and brown ribbons, embroidery hoop, jewelry wire, cardstock, glue, and a Martha Stuart elephant paper puncher!
I made this one too - also saw something along these lines on Etsy and then managed to adapt it accordingly!
 
These are pictures of some of the things I custom ordered on Etsy!
I couldn't help it - this light switch plate cover was so so so cute!
custom damask and minky changing pad cover!
I mentioned this above, but the boppy cover and the sheets were both from different folks on Etsy
I ordered this one too and am totally in love with it! It took the longest and was my biggest splurge, but I'm thrilled with how it ties everything together! :)

The valence is part of the Brooke Bananafish collection, I installed the chocolate brown blinds myself so we would have a room darkener. I found the shelves in espresso at Target. Daniel's mom painted the cake stand herself for my shower, made the monogrammed candle, and gave us the picture frame in the upper left as well as the elephant "piggy" bank. She also got us the monogrammed shoes on the shelf. My sister Ali gave us the other pink picture frame which has a picture of Hannah's 13 week sonogram. I painted the paisley decoration and assembled the shadow box (a Hobby Lobby find). The bib was a customized order from Zuilily. The bear was from the Walker family (dear friiends of the Hals) and the baskets came from one of the major craft stores (I've been picking them up as they are on sale and as I need them - not sure if they are available at all three... Hobby Lobby, Michael's, and/or JoAnns).

 

 

We're still shifting some things around - we managed to move the rocking recliner we have upstairs, but haven't figured out exactly where its home should be within the room. And the organization of the closet is still a work in progress - but I feel like a lot of the organizational things will work themselves out as we actually use things! Ultimately, I couldn't be more thrilled with how everything pulled together - better than I had ever envisioned! Now if my sweet Hannah can just decide she's ready to come out so we can finally meet her and bring her home!