Hannah @ 10 Months! Giggles, First Christmas, and a New Parental Motto...

Hannah @ 10 Months!

Our ten month old (really?!) is babbling and cruising and seems on the verge of some major break throughs (like walking?). This month she enjoyed her first Christmas, visiting with all her grandparents and family in South Carolina, and is more interactive than ever! I have several beautiful mental snapshots tucked away of wonderfully fun interactions in which she giggled and giggled and enjoyed whole-body-shaking-face-filled-with-joy laughter. Those are the moments I have dreamt of before I knew Hannah existed. 

The real challenge of this month has been some serious parental exhaustion. Between a double ear infection at Christmas, a cold, teething, and some serious separation anxiety that kicks in the moment the sun goes down...it has been a very rough sleep month for us. When I juxtapose that with the pure joy I felt last month when I was actually sleeping for the first time since she was born, I struggle to not be a little bitter. ...Bitter at the overall design that these months that are so fleeting and so precious are muted by the parental lack of energy to enjoy them. I try SO SO HARD to soak it in...but it's hard. And when I am this absurdly tired it's hard to enjoy her at full value...hence the bitterness (at the evolutionary design of this whole process...it seems unfair that we are so exhausted at the most precious, fleeting moments...but perhaps it's the only way we don't have several billion more babies on this planet?) Who knows. 

I have always filled my plate so full in life that I run a little tired. Hell...some months or years while I was teaching AP and a graduate student and juggling other big responsibilities I was more than a little tired. Unlike many of my friends who have adventured into the world of having kids...I knew what tired was ahead of time. I had even experienced "void of joy" tired from time to time. But in the past I could go to bed early and sleep in and "catch up" a bit. ...There are many shades and levels of tired but my least favorite is "void of joy" tired. Unfortunately that is where we have spent the past month. I was snappier than I wanted to be the week of Christmas...and I really really tried to be pleasant and to enjoy...but the mute button was on. I also hate how when you are desperately, miserably "void of joy" tired it affects my outlook on life - I lose confidence in myself as a professional, in my physical appearance, and just feel "down". I can step back and know that all of these things are wrapped up in my exhaustion, but that doesn't mean I can shake them or fix it. Faking confidence or consoling/validating yourself takes energy! I have zero of that! 

But to refocus, Hannah at 10 Months! 

Accomplishments and Highlights

This month was not marked with as many major milestones as it was with lots of subtle developments. Her cruising is ever more purposeful, she is stronger, has increasingly better balance and steadiness, and she can stand without assistance...she just tends to sense her instability and plop down. Crawling is so much faster and far less risky for her. She is very very fast and very good at transitioning from crawling to standing and cruising and vice versa very very quickly, often with objects in hand. She often holds onto things with just one hand and stands straighter and straighter each day. We have finally reached a compromise on the wiggly diaper changes and most of the time I can get her to just stand while I change her diaper - with two hands on a window sill, the edge of the tub, etc she can stand on one leg with unwavering balance while I wipe her and throw on a fresh diaper.

Playing with Aunt Stephanie - Hannah ADORES her!

First Christmas!

Hannah with Grandma and Grandpa (my parents)

Checking out the gazelle from Genevieve

She started the month boldly and frequently saying "da da" for things that were fun/exciting/made her happy and increasingly saying "ma ma" when she wanted things or was hungry. Through the month though this suddenly tapered off and in its place emerged what I call stream of consciousness baby babble. It's even in a different pitch/voice, but she will talk and talk to her toys, to me, to anyone who will listen and it is beyond adorable. I think this is her finding her true voice. 

Exciting things this month? We went home for Christmas and she enjoyed her first Christmas season! Christmas day was fun, but I think what I loved most was watching her interact with her family. She adores people and loved snuggling and playing and laughing and reading books with all four of her grandparents and her aunts and uncle. She loved playing an extensive game of peek-a-boo/catch-me-if-you-can with Stephanie in the floor in the Hals kitchen as she crawled around the island trying to see her/catch her. She also roared with laughter when my dad and I played peekaboo with her using a pantry door and she loved breaking in her the new push toy my parents got her. She learned how to work some of the toys Pam (grandma) had set up for her to play with and I really love watching her "sort through things" and try to figure out how they work. Watching her brain work/watching her problem solve is probably the most magical thing to me. Seconded very quickly by the moments when she roars with laughter. :)

:)  Christmas morning magic!

Our little family on Christmas morning!

Daniel and Hannah at Christmas

Happy Birthday Daniel!

While we were in SC she started doing this weird thing with her eyes in which she scrunched them both shut when she really wanted something. ...It was cute...but I am still not quite sure what the origins were. It has mainly faded from her behaviors but was an interesting little thing. 

We survived our fourth airplane related trip too! The flight down was not her best. ...It was mid day and she napped through the airport and was wide awake and wiggly for the flight. ...The moment the cheerios went flying six or seven seats up the aisle was not our finest and I contemplated crawling under the seat for a split second. Otherwise though, travel went well. Daniel had a long, arduous drive with the puppies, but both of us fully agreed that me flying with Hannah was definitely "the way to do it". The flight back was a very early one and was glorious. She peacefully snoozed the whole time and was downright angelic. 

Sleeping on the way to the airport - dreaming of Christmas!

Sleep

What little hope we had that things were improving disappeared the second she hit nine months. Not only does she not sleep for very long...she is very clingy and very difficult to put in the crib. Many nights it takes 5-7 tries. When you do put her down she often screams a scream that isn't just a whiny/overtired one...it's scared and desperate and sometimes one that includes pain (ear infection/teething, etc). It's been a tough month in this department. She has ended up in bed with us a lot and while she sleeps great with us when we let her in the bed...I sleep horribly.  I spend the whole night "on guard" and acutely aware of exactly where she is in the bed because I don't want her to fall off and hit the hardwood floors.  

Nom, Nom, Nom!

Eating more and more table foods. She tends to gum a lot of different foods, but she only significantly eats some of them. Trending favorites? Cheese cheese cheese, diced grapes, steamed butternut squash/carrots/sweet potatoes, cheerios, raw apple slices, naval orange slices, cooked peas, and an adored splurge (very rarely) - graham crackers. She eats more than this, but these are top top contenders lately. 

Oh boy...the pout this child can produce.  ...She was bummed we asked her to stop feeding everything she had to the dogs.

Forget about it!

Growth & Appearance

We went for the nine month checkup toward the end of the ninth month (holiday related conflicts). At 9 months 23 days she was 20 lbs 15 oz, 28.5 inches tall and 97% big ole noggin! Definitely still growing! She has more and more hair too and the reddish tint is pretty undeniable in sunlight! Her eyes are still a beautiful hazel. We have pretty much moved into 12 months clothing - 12 month pjs fit her way too well (but the one pair of 18 month ones that we have are way too big) and nearly every outfit she wears lately is 12 months. 

Her Favorite Things? 

Playing peek-a-boo but on a larger scale. We are past the peek-a-boo with a blanket - now it is peek-a-boo from behind doors, around the edges of the island in her grandparent's kitchen, etc, but this grander game of peekaboo has Hannah rolling with laughter and the most delicious baby giggles you can imagine. :)

Books are still at the very very top of Hannah's list. Some days when she comes home the first thing she wants to do now is read a book. ...And half a dozen or more of them in a sitting. She LOVES them so much! Watching her soak them in (sometimes she even moves her mouth to try to make words as I read) is the most spectacular thing! 

She loves this book!  "What Makes a Rainbow" from our friend, Kat (Adams) Barrett!

Loves her books!  We added a playmat to the nursery this month - it's been a great touch!

Investigating

I love this picture.  To me it captures Hannah's free spirit and will.   All I wanted was for her to interact with me and laugh and smile for me...but of course at this moment all she wanted was to sprawl out and inspect and inquire and explore her world on her own terms.  

Icarus & Daedalus - I love this picture.  Daniel has Hannah obsessed with getting to touch, or go near lights like a little moth.  It's giving us all quite the upper body workout!

This video is of me and my dad playing with Hannah - she was full body laughing as we played peek-a-boo.  Just the best.  :)

Hannah & Mommy at Christmas!

Sweetness.  I adore these two so much!

Chance turns into a frolicking puppy in the snow too - they love to chase and wrestle through the powder

The Puppies

I monitor the way the puppies interact with Hannah very very closely. Holly still loves to play, still tries to play with her teeth from time to time, and has zero qualms about taking toys from a baby (this mostly happens when Hannah offers them up). But with Chance I have noticed a strategy that is honestly kind of brilliant and makes me love him that much more! Basically, if Hannah is petting him or pulling at his ear or showing interest in him in ways he finds less than desirable...her gets her to back off by licking her face. When he licks her she pulls back and stops what she is doing...what a sweet and gentle strategy, right? It's so awesome! Chance is brilliant. 

Holly loving the first big snow of the year

tuckered out :)

The Parents? 
Have a new motto this month that mocks everything about my productive previous self (which I feel like Hannah has murdered "productive Beth," imbibed all my blood, and is gruesomely dancing and laughing for good sport).  That may be a bit over the top. 

oh sweet, sweet coffee

The Hals' new motto? 

"lowering expectations one day at a time"

Things were getting better. At least I think they were. But this month even my "reasonable" expectations are obliterated. We could lower our expectations...and then lower them by ten more degrees...or feel like utter failures. Yeah, morale has been a little low.

Daniel: "so what are your goals today"

Beth: "oh you know, what I really need to tackle is x, y, z, and k."

(Bemused) Daniel: "how's that working out for you?"

(With a sigh) Beth: "I gave up on k, z, and y,...and x is optional...it would be bonus points"

Daniel: "atta girl, just keep lowering those expectations..."

Beth:  *Sigh*

We caught a rough cold just after Christmas and all struggled for a while, Daniel's especially lingered, which was especially frustrating for him because he had signed up to run a marathon in March (which in early December seemed far away). He was sick enough to really have to back off and take it slow for several weeks, causing a bit of panic on his end, but thankfully he has bounced back and is rebounding quickly now. 

Something that I think folks forget about, or may not really realize about our current scenario is that during this separation anxiety phase it is incredibly hard to put her in her crib, so I spend hours every night with her in my arms. Which can be wonderfully, blissfully awesome. ...but also tough when those are the only moments I could potentially have to fold laundry or prep bottles and pump pieces or everything else that needs to get done around here to keep us functioning.  Those are daily things...we're not even talking about other things like - cleaning or cooking or gasp...unpacking some of the boxes that contain clothes and items I still need.  The to do list is quickly compounding.  All of that has to happen even later at night or not at all....which is where the compounding frustration kicks in...and the motto is then applied to prevent us from completely losing it. The problem is...I haven't just lowered expectations about everything once or twice....I have lowered them to the basement level and then tunneled 250 feet into the freaking earth and we are like little moles. I frequently say the fact that we all make it to work/daycare and have clean clothes and food to eat is quite the accomplishment. 

Aside from being "void of joy" tired at times this month, I have often marveled at the beautiful way Hannah and I "fit together" and how women seem ergonomically designed to hold a baby - she sits on my hip so naturally and when she nurses she tucks into the place on my tummy that has steadily gotten smaller since I had her as she has steadily gotten bigger. There is something sweet and comforting about it. 

So, to wrap up?

Bring on the coffee! The struggle is real and the expectations are lowered one day at a time.  But! We have a beautiful, healthy, happy ten month old girl who is just the sweetest! She loves her family so much! She is so quick to smile and laugh and loves to explore the world around her! And the musical sound of her giggles added an extra magic to the holidays this year. She's amazing! 

Our Family at 9.5 Months - Hannah's First Christmas!

Hannah @ 10 Months

I see what you're doing there!  I'm onto you!

Sweet, giggly, smiley Hannah @ 10 Months!

Hannah @ 9 Months! Waving, Sleeping, and Pure Delight!

This has quite possibly been my favorite month so far!  Hannah has been SO MUCH FUN!  And...she has been sleeping the best she has ever slept this month so I actually seem to have the energy to enjoy her and feel the joy of being with her.  Full of giggles, determined to explore, and so loving and happy - our sweet Hannah is nine months old!  

 Sleep!!! 

At 8 months 1 day Hannah was moved up to the "mobile baby" side of the infant room.  (Bragging mother alert) They had an incoming infant and needed to choose one of the six babies to move up - and chose Hannah over others older than her because she is so very active and mobile!  (Bragging over).  Monday night?  OMG She slept from 9 - 6:30!!!!  I finally had to wake her up to feed her before I left for work!  Crazy!!!  Is every night like that?  No, but we have had more good nights than bad nights lately and that...is a HUGE change!!!  This month Hannah sleeping through the night is MORE normal than her not sleeping through the night.  AHHHHHHH!  AMAZING!  

That said...I'm still not getting a ton of sleep (like...previous Beth would think it's not enough and a co-worker said "wait, you're excited to only get how much sleep?"), but seriously...it is amazing.  What I mean by that is that Hannah has been going to sleep deeply enough that I can put her in her crib somewhere between 8 and 10.  Sometimes when I go to move her to her crib she just isn't ready and needs to nurse and snuggle longer (judge away, but I am okay with that - I am gone all day long, she needs some mommy snuggle time!)  Once my hands are free it is about an hour before I can crawl into bed.  (There's SO much to do...an hour is cutting it as short as possible to get ready for bed myself, walk the dogs, clean up, prep for the next day, etc).  So I crawl in bed at 11?  Hannah wakes at 4 or 5.  If she doesn't wake up until 6 something, I need to have woken up and showered and gotten most of the way ready by the time she does.  So if she does sleep, I am still only getting a maximum of 5-6 hours (which to a new mom sounds AMAZING...to most others it sounds like not enough).

Accomplishments and Happenings This Month

She's waving now and it is super cute!  When she waves it is a full body wave accompanied by a full big toothy grin!  She has been doing some serious cruising this month!  I also noticed that when she wants something that is on the floor/that she has dropped and she is standing, that instead of having to sit down to grab it, she actually squats down and picks it up and pops back up with ease!  She has great balance and great "saves" - I have seen her actually save herself from falling over by grabbing something with one hand - and she manages to keep herself upright and prevent a wipe out.  ...I was super impressed.

Standing and turning - super cute! 

Always on the move

Or nom nom noming

(Below - one of the first days Hannah started waving)  :)

She had a double ear infection this month :(  but the doctor was super impressed by her pain tolerance and the happy demeanor she had even though she didn't feel well.  She was quick to become extra fussy when she needed/wanted something, but overall I was amazed by how pleasant she was while she was sick and in pain. 

She's beginning to understand "no" and contemplates what to do once we say no.  We are working on redirecting and making sure that we follow through when we say no.  ...You can see her processing and considering.  But sigh, I guess it's time to start picking our battles! 

We had a visit from a former student, Ben Laird - he's a cadet at West Point this year!  (His family is the one that gave Hannah her first set of books with all the personalized messages before she was born).  And Hannah loved him!  We had a great evening learning about the first year at West Point, playing with Hannah and catching him up on how things have been going in Maryland.  IT's always neat when my "worlds collide". 

Cadet Ben Laird + Hals Family - Hannah's not quite sure what to make of his hat!

Thanksgiving Break was a wonderful blessing. We really enjoyed the time to ourselves as a family and spent Thanksgiving day itself enjoying a blissfully low key day with the Kunkle family.  Four adults and two littles ones seemed like a very reasonable ratio for all of us and we had a nice afternoon and evening cooking and catching up. 

Reading a book with her Daddy on Thanksgiving :)

the Maryland natives are bartering goods

Hannah playing in Lillian's box fort tunnel complex

Lillian + Hannah = Thanksgiving Cuties

Decorating for Christmas!

It finally arrived!!!

The missing bag that I gate checked in Sarajevo on June 21st arrived at our home in Silver Spring November 28th.   If this bag could talk...

Our poor car seat.  Will I trust the integrity of the frame anymore?  Hell no.  But am I hoping to wash the cloth cover and put it on our current frame - yep!!

Nom Nom Nom

Really wants to feed herself.  For Hannah this month has been a month of transition.  She's hungry...but only wants to eat a limited amount of bites per meal from a spoon.  She is obsessed with learning to feed herself.  So we usually start a meal out with yogurt or the pureed baby foods I have made (we're going to use them up, definitely not throw out all the tastiness and hard work!) and then she transitions over to other things.  She likes peas, cheerios, LOVES cheese of all kinds, loves to gnaw on a raw carrot, apple, sweet potato even (we let her hold one while I was cooking thanksgiving weekend and it came back looking "attacked" by a little rodent) and the obliterates steamed sweet potato slices.  A big recent (and incredibly messy) hit?  Raspberries and blackberries!  yum yum!  The main issue is that her coordination of grabbing an item and successfully delivering it into her mouth isn't great yet.  We're getting there!  But that is the biggest contradiciton..."I want to feed myself!" but "I can't get food in my mouth" That said, through the month she has made leaps and bounds, perfected the pincer grasp and is continually becoming more adept.  Very fun to observe!

No one is safe when Hannah starts flinging food.  

I yam what I yam.  

Growth and Appearance

She finally has more than fuzz!  Not much more...but enough to be able to spike it a bit in the bath and to have a little bed head after a nap.  Now the far more pressing question - what color is it?!  So far it looks golden with hints of red during the day and brown at night.  In the sunlight though it is undeniable that there is some red in there!  Her eyes are a beautiful hazel too!  At night they look most dark...and sometimes I wonder if they are just going brown but then when the light catches her eyes I see a teal blue rim and then green rippling through the brown.  For her sake I really hope they stay this way - I LOVE them!  She still has two adorable little teeth (although I really do think she is teething at that more are eminent...she started drooling like crazy this weekend and was extra fussy.  We'll see!)  

Size wise the 6-9 month clothes are getting too tight.  The 9 month outfits fit...but are on their way out and the 12 month clothes are a nice fit - there's a few that are still a little big.  We moved into 12 month pjs this week and they fit her a little too perfectly already!  I like that all the 12 month stuff has grippy feet.  For Hannah, that's quite helpful.  When we went in for the ear infection she weighed 20 pounds exactly (8.5) months - so she has officially doubled her birthweight and is still growing!  :)

Her Favorite Things

She still loves the fat plastic stackable rings, loves to play with plastic mardi gras beads, adores books, and has really been enjoying the elephant push toy the Grand Hals gave her when they visited.  She also loves it when I grab a toy from her hand with my teeth and shake it back and forth like I am a puppy.  ...She laughs and laughs.  We often do this with a small stuffed animal to survive the oh-so-ridiculously-squirmy diaper changes.  

She has been so so so ridiculously cute lately!  SO happy and quick to laugh!  The past few weeks have just been the best!  

I dare you to look at this picture and not smile.  :)  

Communication

She has gotten very good at saying "Da da" and often does when she is happy or wants attention.  She is hungry she makes a pleading "mmmmmmmmmmm" sound.  The day she turned 9 months old she said "Ma Ma" when asking to be fed!  :)

Puppies 

She loves her puppies so much!  She has developed a bad habit (which we are discouraging/redirecting accordingly) of casting cheerios and food bits to her lowly subjects and laughing as they scramble.  Sometimes it seems regal and mocking, other times it is adorable fascination.  But she often stops when we tell her no. 

She also loves to "play bow" to the puppies.  I had noticed a strange behavior that I found adorably funny...but I couldn't quite figure out its origin/why it tickled me so much.  ...Hannah would crawl around the house and jerk her head downward as she was crawling around.  it was strange.  Then, one evening while we were upstairs in her room, she was playing with the puppies while I put laundry away and she was just giggling and giggling over and over.  When I studied what was happening I realized she was crawling up to Holly and play bowing - slapping both hands down and lowering her head with her bottom in the air - just like a puppy inviting you to play with them (Holly does this with us all the time and we often respond with similar gestures and then play with her).  Sure enough, Hannah was mimicking this behavior and some of the times the dogs were bowing back!  Regardless, each time she bowed, she burst into a fit of giggles!  It was such a fun interaction to witness and had me smiling for days!  :)

Hannah also enjoys it when I roll a ball to her - she then adeptly picks it up and shares it back with me (she's not good at rolling it back yet).  Some times if the mood is right Holly will take the ball instead and then bring it to me, drop it, and I roll it to Hannah, she picks it up and hands it to Holly, etc.  Each time Holly takes something from Hannah she laughs and claps her hands!  SO cute!!!

I have also been trying to help her learn to pat/pet the dogs instead of just pulling their fur and she has finally caught on.  She loves to crawl to Chance and pat him.  :)  

Chance with his jingle bell collar and Hannah playing with the lights...

He is the sweetest dog on the planet.  

Daddy

Still not sleeping well...it's not really linked to Hannah's sleep, it's just shallow, crappy sleep each night for Daniel.  We're not sure why.  But we are sure that finally caving and becoming a coffee drinker (just one cup in the morning) has been a transformational experience for Daniel!  The first weekend he drank coffee was he spoke to me as if he was Rob Lowe the entire day!  Epically funny!  

I adore this picture!

He also loves loves loves everything Christmas, so it has been a fun couple weeks around the house with Christmas music and a Christmas tree.  (We got one.  ...it managed to get lights and looked pretty if you squinted and blurred the lights.  We also agreed it was totally okay to give up and not bother with ornaments.  haha.  Next year maybe?)  

Daniel & Hannah selfie!  Trying out our new camera remote and showing off Hannah's beautiful Christmas outfits :)

Hannah & Daddy selfie!  Hannah @ 9 months!

Mommy 

This month has been one of my absolute favorites!  She has just been so much fun!  And she has been sleeping!  And she has been easier!!!  She is more content to explore and play - on her own, but with me close by.  But there have been several nights where I have been able to give her different things to do while I cook dinner and actually managed to cook dinner without it being a disaster and without having a totally unhappy baby!  And I didn't feel like I had outright ignored her either!  Awesome!  Spending a week with her over Thanksgiving was also wonderful and I really enjoyed catching up with Hannah and "resyncing" with her.  

As capable as she is, she's still my baby!  :)

Our family @ 9 Months!

Full of smiles, quick to laugh, and generous with her big sloppy kisses, Hannah is absolutely lovely and SO much fun @ 9 months!  :)

Hannah @ 9 Months enjoying her first Christmas season!