At five weeks and one day, Hannah woke up smiling and smiling and smiling! I don't know if I'll ever be able to describe how awesome that morning was...she had smiled some before, but not like this. These were responsive, interactive, heart melting smiles! I was on cloud 9 all day! Honestly, I have filed that mental snapshot away into one of those best of best moments. :-) Since then she has only become more smiley, but nothing beats that first morning!
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| The first big morning of smiles! I love it!!! |
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| first days of big smiles - such a cutie! |
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| yeah, it's out of focus, but I love this one! Whaley is one of her favorite toys. |
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| Hannah at six weeks! This is probably my favorite picture, thus far! |
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| Hannah, six weeks! |
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| Our smiley love bug |
She is growing like a weed! At her one month checkup she weighed 10 pounds 11 ounces and was 22.5 inches long and at her two month checkup she weighed 12 pounds 2 ounces and was 24 inches long -- 2 feet! In two months she grew 3.75 inches and found herself in the 98 percentile for height, 90 something for her head circumference, and 70-80 for weight. The nurse laughed and said it looked like I had a tall, brainy child! Around six or seven weeks she was suddenly too big for her 0-3 month cotton footie pajamas - her feet were too big and she was quickly becoming too tall. Most 0-3 month clothes have been retired to the closet and even the 3 month clothes are already just right and so are many 3-6 month outfits! At around a month I also had to transition her to her larger swaddles! It was kind of perfect timing since it has started warming up here and many of the smaller sized ones were microfleece. And so far Hannah is a little heater like her daddy. I very rarely have to worry about her being too cold - but keeping her from overheating/over dressing her is a much more pressing concern in my mind. She sweats instantly! The Halo sleepsack swaddles are by far our go-to for sleep. She has a woombie that we like too and I sometimes use the summer infant swaddleme ones if I can get her to nap but overall the halo ones win!
Appearance wise she is still a blue eyed girl, but there are still increasing glimpses of brown/hazel. We still think she'll go brown. Additionally her hair has gotten a little teensy bit longer and thicker - it's still dark brown in the back, but I swear there's hints of red in the new fuzz on top. Daniel disagrees...but...we'll see!
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| talking to the owls about her day! The owl mobile that came with her pack and play is my saving grace! It is THE spot that Hannah can actually be entertained sans mamma - and usually long enough for me to pee or sometimes even heat up lunch and scarf it down! Don't worry, Brahams and other things play in the background :) Hannah loves to talk to the owls and tell them about her day. I knew she liked them when she screamed when they stopped circling overhead (it has a brief timer) |
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| Okay, that's a happy girl! |
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| This is a hanna andersson outfit that the Laird family gave us - it is one of my favorites! Soft, pretty, and practical! We have some coming up in the larger size and I am in love with this brand! |
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| All hail the Moby Wrap! It was KEY many days this month! It's a bit snugglier than the ergo and is one of Hannah's favorite places to be! I've even cooked dinner! |
So obviously she is eating like a champ! We are still sadly not in any type of official routine yet, but there are certainly patterns. We are still exclusively breastfeeding and this month has been so much better in that department for me! I knew it was would be uncomfortable at first but was hoping after two weeks we would be good. In reality? By the three week growth spurt it wasn't torturous and once I hit the month mark it stopped being uncomfortable 95% of the time. Now it's more that Hannah's fingers turn into talons at a moments notice and she loves grabbing at my skin. So it took longer than expected, but now it is going very well! We've also been very lucky - we never had any major problems, so I really can't complain! And while I did have a few days of feeling very overwhelmed around six weeks when I realized that by breastfeeding I was still so very tethered to her, at the same time I have since managed to embrace and enjoy the freedom and flexibility it gives me...and I have grown to love our snuggles and sweet time together. There's something amazing about being able to so naturally meet her needs.
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| My college bestie Natasha came to visit! |
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| Daniel, myself, Hannah, and Natasha enjoying Cinco de Mayo and catching up! |
As for sleep? Well...still not so great. Hannah is really good at waking up every 2-3 hours. At two months I think the number of times she has slept 4 or more hours is maybe six times? And I think all but one of those was within the first month, so I'm jonesing for a good night sometime soon. The few times during the first month that I got five hours I felt like super woman. I'm holding out for one of those...some day right? She usually sleeps beside our bed in the rock and play and then spends a few hours in the morning once daddy is up snoozing with plenty of space in the king size bed...once we get past four or five am when I put her back in the rock and play it's game over. In proximity to me we can eat every hour or two and snooze until nine...maybe even eleven on some days? I'll take it! Consecutively the sleep is terrible, but cumulatively it's been adding up to something functional.
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| survival mode! Yep...we're seriously strategizing on how to function around here! |
Hannah has been a delightful cooing babbler too. :). When she's in just the right mood we have whole conversations back and forth and she can really get on a roll. I love the faces she makes as she concentrates and tries to get sounds out. Some days she tries to parrot me - I can say "ahhhh" and she will do the same! So awesome!
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| This is another one of my favorite outfits (from Grandma H) - such a cutie! |
Daniel is still adjusting but has been amazing at picking up all the slack. Because I am breastfeeding there's only so many things he can do for Hannah, but he's gotten pretty awesome at the early morning diaper change, grocery shopping, giving the pups extra attention, and cooking dinner. Most days between the two of us things are steadily getting done! Hanging in there!
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| I love this picture! |
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| :-) |
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| Daniel expressing how we really feel some of the time... |
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| at least one of us sleeps |
Chance and Holly are doing well - Chance is the ultimate guardian for Hannah and often curls up behind the chair in the nursery and follows me around when she is extra upset, refusing to leave our side until Hannah calms down and is okay. Holly has had a trickier time and has been a bit destructive and seemed sad, but I have spent some extra energy this month rebonding with her and also restocked the dog toys, introducing a new toy or two every few days - and for this pup it's made all the difference! We also figured out that Holly absolutely loves to fetch tennis size balls in the backyard and take her out nearly daily for a run run run, puppy zoom, tennis ball session. Between all three of these strategies and the fact that I am feeling more like myself and walking them more frequently and farther again? We have happy puppies! Hooray!
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| Happy puppies playing fetch! |
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| One of the most epic pictures of Chance ever! |
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| happy, happy Holly! |
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| Falkor! |
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| Holly has some very creative ways of snoozing |
Me? Doing well! I am so in love with my daughter and my family! In many ways I am incredibly happy and content. We are still trying to finalize daycare for next fall and I am still job hunting (I have several leads...but a lot of teacher placement isn't done until July here). Hitting six weeks and officially "rejoining society" was a strange moment for me because really I didn't feel together enough yet or like myself enough yet. It definitely reinforced my instincts that I would want a 12 week maternity leave even if it meant going without pay, had I been working.
Physically it has been a huge adjustment. I know everyone says it is...and you know it will be, but it's hard to understand the ways it will be (if that makes any sense). I am not for one second saying that it wasn't worth it or that I wouldn't do it again (I would...and hope to) and during the six week period I was very patient. Once I got past that my patience was gone haha. And that's where I think I have run into frustrations. I have steadily been trying to increase my physical activity so I can physically feel more like myself but I often have pretty sharp pains in some of my pubic joints after a long, brisk walk which has certainly been discouraging. And things really have changed. Proportionally I am still a few inches bigger around my hips and waist, but I chock that up to maternal fat stores...especially since it's the same number of inches in both places. But then there's my midsection...between the hips and waist...that's the area that is incredibly different. At six weeks getting dressed for anything other than hanging around the house was a nightmare. My maternity clothes would have been the outfit of choice...but they were all winter...and it was spring...and nothing in my closet fit. Really next to nothing. Do I want to go out and spend money on clothes I am hoping will be too baggy...like soon? No! Is this all superficial? Sure, but that doesn't mean it isn't hard. I am steadily losing too...but again when you are breastfeeding you are supposed to lose slowly. And honestly...I am ravenous some days, I can't just suddenly cut way back on food. I'm eating healthy, staying active, and trying to work back up to having higher stamina and more strength. (But when I walk extra and then have sharp shooting pain...yeah...this is taking longer than I thought it would). Trying to be patient! When I think about how far I've come already it helps too.
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| Yikes! I hesitate to share...but here you go! The last three or four weeks I picked up fifteen pounds in water weight practically overnight and found myself with the dreaded chipmunk cheeks! Yep - yikes! (Luckily it was gone after the first two weeks, but still, yowzers!) |
I also had the reality check that at six weeks I was still adjusting to the reality of how tethered Hannah is to me...especially as I tried to set up a gym to use to swim, my favorite kind of workout....one that was such a loved ritual before me moved to Maryland. As I tried to set things up and find one that had daycare, all of them has the policy that they wouldn't change diapers. Hannah goes ballistic the second she pees just a little. Not conducive to dropping her off and me swimming laps in the pool. Maybe once we have a more predictable nap schedule. And some places require appointments to be made in advance. Sigh. When Daniel gets home it's just in time for Hannah's witching hours and coincides with peak workout times...aka major competition for lap space. Again not conducive to working out. Will we work this out? Yes, but at six weeks I was devastated that the one activity I had been looking forward to that would help me feel like myself was going to be so damn hard to get to do...and might require me to wait a little longer until Hannah has more predictable patterns. So we are working it out, but it is slow going! I have started meeting up with other mommies for a big stroller walk at least once a week, sometimes twice a week, and took Hannah to her first "mommy & me" yoga session after we passed the six week mark and I was cleared to work out (and we were unquarantined...which I didn't exactly listen to anyway...but for baby yoga it made sense). We are steadily getting out there! I don't really think twice about leaving the house with her anymore! (Aside from the has she been fed and changed recently thing).
Mother's Day also had me quite reflective...trying to think about the moments in which I realized I was a mommy... here were the top ones :)
1. When I found out I was pregnant and that my life and body was not just my own - I was overcome with the responsibility and realization that I was carrying my baby with me all the time. I was never alone.
2. When we found out our dear sweet baby wasn't just a baby - she was our little girl! And that very day we decided, her name was Hannah
3. After she was born, before I could hold her, Daniel walked over with her in his arms and when I said "hello, Hannah" she swiveled and her eyes met mine for the first time
4. When I fed her for the first time her hand reached for mine and she locked down on my finger...she still loves to hold my hand/finger while she eats and I love it
5. In the first twenty four hours...after everyone had finally left...the grandmothers, my husband (yes, I sent him home to sleep)...it was in the wee hours of the night after the midnight checkup/weigh in had happened. They woke me up to feed her and it was finally just the two of us snuggled up together in the dimly lit room. She opened her eyes when I cuddled her to me to eat and I realized then...aww, I am a mom! Even better - I'm Hannah's mommy!
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| Me and my sweet Hannah! |
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| As my friend put it quite rightly - pure bliss |
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| conversations during tummy time! |
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| Daniel compares this picture to the one where Hannah's pouting and he's laughing. She's not always happy with me, either! |
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| morning snuggles, what a magical way to start the day! |
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| really happy Hannah! |
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| #mommy+Hannah #selfie - she didn't quite understand what we were doing :) |
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| #mommy+Hannah #selfie - improvement! |
To recap...this month Hannah has blossomed into beautiful, heart melting smiles! She is conquering tummy time and really kicking butt with her neck control! She is increasingly vocal and full of adorable sounds and she has recently found her hands to twist and clutch and nom on - it's super cute! I am totally in love with my amazing and beautiful sweet Hannah!
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| Hannah @Two Months! |
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| Two months, post vaccinations, ready to roll and see the world with Passport in hand! :) |
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